I hear it so often when I am talking to my people about their struggles, “Pam, I am just SO TIRED.”
So tired of having to…
be the strong one.
carry all of the weight.
hold it all together.
be the bigger person.
My friends just WANT IT TO GET EASIER. They need a break.
Can you relate?
(I bet you can)
Here’s the thing: feeling tired is TOTALLY NORMAL when you are a Rock Star. And, YOU ARE A ROCK STAR. Truly.
Whether it is your family, your job, whatever the challenges are in your life, YOU ARE HOLDING IT ALL TOGETHER.
And, you get tired, am I right?
I have a secret. There IS a way to shift this. It will sound crazy, but hear me out.
The easy button that we all crave isn’t what we think. THINK is the important word here. THINKING is what, believe it or not, is what is making us gasp for air.
Our brain wants things to be oh-so-perfect so we can feel oh-so-good enough and oh-so-safe.
Our critical thoughts are ACTUALLY what is exhausting us, not the work itself.
I’ll give you an example from not too long ago: I came home late in the evening with Talia and Jesse and I needed to:
-get them dinner
-help them with their homework
-take out the garbage and recycling (which involved breaking down a MOUNTAIN of boxes)
-get the laundry out of the washer into the dryer and a new load in the washer
-empty the dishwasher
-deal with the HUGE pile of dirty dishes in the sink
and I had about 45 minutes to do it ALL.
As I got to the sink and saw the heaping, gross carnage from probably 24 hours worth of meals, I felt this HORRIBLE OVERWHELM bubbling up from my belly and basically started to cry.
I was instantly aware of the absurdity of crying over a sink full of dishes (even dishes that gross), so I did a mental check — what part of me was feeling so AWFUL?
and the quiet answer came: the part of you that feels like you are’t a good enough mother/wife if you can’t get all of this done perfectly. (the subconscious part)
AHA.
I was then able to tell that part of my brain that it was NUTS because I am an awesome mom and wife EVEN IF the house is a mess and the kids eat Taquitos from Costco for dinner. Occasionally. Or often.
The overwhelm then bubbled up out of the top of my head and I magically got my full chore list done with time to spare (which really was magical, I don’t know how I did it — except I know realize that we have SO MUCH ENERGY when we aren’t wasting it hating on ourself or fighting with WHAT IS.)
So, acceptance and self-compassion are my “Easy Buttons”
So, figure out how to get out of your brain and the unhelpful, energy sucking judgments and into the heart.
That is where we recharge. And we need to give ourselves the space and care to recharge, for sure — because our bodies will get tired if we don’t, and that will make our spirit tired too if we don’t kick in on the fundamental self care of sleep, good food, exercise etc.
But how we look at our challenges and how we trust and respect and LOVE both life AND ourselves really is how to change “I’m so tired…” to “I’m so inspired!”
